KIKU HONDA: User Guide and Manual
by 1Julivia
Summary: CONGRATULATIONS! You've been bequeathed with a KIKU HONDA unit! To avoid any awkward situations, we've produced this manual for your convenience and use.


_**Salutions, and here's Japan's manual! Enjoy~ **_

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**KIKU HONDA: User Guide and Manual**

**CONGRATULATIONS! **You've been bequeathed with a KIKU HONDA unit! To avoid any awkward situations, we've produced this manual for your convenience and use.

**Technical Specifications**

Name: Kiku Honda or Honda Kiku in its original Eastern order. Will also respond to "Honda-san", "Japan", "Nippon-kun", "Ve~ Nihon~", and "Gēgē". He will reply irritably to the last one.

Age: Hard to tell. He looks about 20 or so but acts like an old man sometimes.

Place of Manufacture: Tokyo, Japan

Height: 5'4"

Weight: N/A

Length: Stereotypes are for dummkopfs. You won't be disappointed.

**Your KIKU HONDA Unit comes with the following accessories**

One (1) white Japanese naval uniform w/black and gold accents

One (1) Pochi unit

One (1) katana sword

One (1) 1080 definition digital camera

One (1) 2014 issue of Shonen Jump magazine

**Programming**

Your KIKU HONDA is equipped with the following traits:

Manga Artist: Ever wanted to get better at the medium you love? Think your art skills fail tremendously? Get ready to be taught by yours truly! KIKU HONDA is not only a great manga artist, but is a patient and eager teacher as well. He'll have you improving in no time at all!

Scientist: As the stereotype is, KIKU HONDA is very good with technology and will have ideas that others will not dare to cross into or do not how to come across because they suppose that their own technology is very limited. Getting him a job as a technology scientist will challenge him and engross his enrichment. The salary he earns you isn't too bad either.

Game Developer: Have an idea or storyline for a new game you want to make happen? Say no more, and rush your unit to the nearest gaming industry. We assume the head honchos are little Japanophiles and will look forward to your accented unit and will hire him as soon as he steps through the door and utters "Herro".

Therapist: Your KIKU HONDA has a great talent with relaxing and speaking with other people about their troubles. He will be good for anyone, even a traumatized ARTHUR KIRKLAND, RAIVIS GALANTE, ALFRED F. JONES, or YEKETERINA CHERNENKO unit.

Samurai: Need back up? Stuck between a rock and a hard place with some dangerous people? Sic your KIKU HONDA unit and his katana on these guys and don't look back. He'll protect you through thick and thin and not mind at all. He might get hip pains though afterwards.

**Removal of your KIKU HONDA from packaging **

The extent of this unit's anger is an "unpleasant feeling", so you don't have to worry about getting him mad. The Japanese however, value a clean house and a warm welcome and the utmost respect, so we've made this list of good ways to wake up your unit to avoid cultural shock or misunderstandings.

1. Play a Sonic, Legend of Zelda, Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros Brawl/Melee, or any Nintendo licensed game as loud as the walls can hold the sound. Another good suggestion is playing a Kingdom Hearts game or playing Dream Drop Distance as trumpeting as your 3DS can manage and he will break out of the box with surprising strength and introduce himself, and after putting his shoes at the door, politely ask if he can play after you. You'll be able to reprogram him as he goes to beat your high score.

2. Turn on a Vocaloid song or Kyari Pampyu Pampyu. If a Vocaloid song, make it 1000 Cherry Blossoms feat. Hatsune Miku or Wind-Up God feat. GUMI. If the latter, make sure it's either something really recent or good old PON PON PON. The box will shiver, and he will politely request that you open the box so he can properly enjoy the music. You can reprogram him after he introduces himself and leaves his shoes at the door.

3. Have an IM YONG SOO unit come in and threaten to take his breasts. This will result in an explosion of wood from the box, and smoke as KIKU HONDA runs away from the direction of the voice with enough stamina to contradict the fact that he acts like an old man. This method is not recommended since you will have a slightly perturbed unit to come back to the house and apologize for his rudeness for not introducing himself. He will allow you to reprogram him directly as another form of apologizing. That is after his shoes at the door.

4. Have a HERACLES KARPUSI unit come in with his cats and put one on the lid. An arm will slowly come out of the box to stroke said cat. You can open the box and reprogram him while he's busy petting.

Switch the on button under his Pochi unit. KIKU HONDA will wake up immediately after.

**Reprogramming**

_Mood-sensing (default)_

_Curious_

_Otaku_

_Agreeable_

_Flustered_

_Black Japan (locked)_

To sense the mood is your unit's default action. He will do so and refrain from speaking unless he can improve the situation presented, or change the subject before things get worse.

He will be very eager to enlighten himself in his _Curious _mode and will want to learn about other customs or your behavior in this setting, both this mode and his _Agreeable _mode will work together with his _Mood-sensing_ mode.

_Flustered_ is what happens if you shock your KIKU HONDA unit with physical contact of any kind, or ask if he wants to go to the pool on a hot day, or if you sunbathe and he happens to see you, or if you ask to see his jacket for cleaning, will result in a very magenta-faced unit. He will stutter and try to avoid the situation, or run away. He'll try to regain his grasp on the universe by lowly singing Japanese opera songs under his breath. Just wait for an hour or so for him to compose himself and get used to the nakedness of western culture.

_Otaku_ is what it is.

_Black Japan_ is locked. The reason why is because this is KIKU HONDA angry. This is KIKU HONDA when he bombed Pearl Harbor, when he rebelled against WANG YAO and gave him the disfiguring scar he has to this day, and the KIKU HONDA who put caltrops in IVAN BRAGINSKI's chair, tried harpooning him from the ceiling, and put an explosive in his food. He'll get his body tattooed all over, won't speak unless spoken to, does not worry, does not get flustered, and keeps his own opinions to himself. He will honor, to the point of killing another if they are dishonorable, and is ruthless in attacking. He's a master at martial arts, and won't act olderthan he appears. Take caution when trying to unlock this mode, for doing so releases dire consequences. He's able to unlock FELICIANO VARGAS' _Sadistic_ and LUDWIG KALTHERZIG's _War_ modes impossibly quick and it may be too late to stop it if you don't want a mini WWII to occur in your home if you have any of the Allies as well. Getting him out of this mode is difficult. You'll need to turn at least three 2P! Units in their Opposite modes with him witnessing, it doesn't matter which three or surround him with things from his country and leave him in a peaceful environment for a four weeks.

**Relationships with other Units**

FELICIANO VARGAS: They both have mutual respect for each other's art, history, and education. Though your unit may be over whelmed by this unit's eccentricity and energy sometimes, they get along very well. You can interpret that however you want.

LUDWIG KALTHERZIG: The only two units in the Axis Powers that show to accustom themselves to working together.

ALFRED F. JONES: As the unit that prompted KIKU HONDA to break out of his shell and be more open towards others, they are very humane to each other and are gaming buddies aside from him and MATTHEW WILLIAMS. This can develop to much more with enough blowfish sushi and superhero comics.

ARTHUR KIRKLAND: They are both rather lonely people and have been isolated from others from both being island countries. Yet from the Anglo-Japanese alliance, they have been very close, and have a mutual understanding for each other. Get the_ tsundere _block off of ARTHUR KIRKLAND and they might immediately go out.

YAO WANG: The relationship with this unit is a rather rocky one due to the bloodshed past they both share. KIKU HONDA betrayed him and left him with a scar on his back to remind him of a vow that he had taken to his older brother about becoming stronger. Building a bridge between these two will take lots of work.

YONG SOO IM: They both don't like each other, even though YONG SOO IM is always copyright infringing after what KIKU HONDA makes. Same as above, only it's more like victim/rapist.

HERACLES KARPUSI: Jeez, the relationship with these two can be cute, fluffy romance or weird love making that result in KIKU HONDA denying that anything had happened. It's hard to tell. He will fight SADIQ ADNAN over him with a passion.

SADIQ ADNAN: He has a soft spot for your unit and will try and protect him from the creepy advances that FRANCIS BONNEFOIS may attempt. Same as above, and that the relationship between these three will result in a group relationship, you pervert.

**Cleaning**

KIKU HONDA relishes in taking his sweet time in the bathtub, due to his love for relaxing in hot springs. Your water bill may go up, so tell him politely to do it every other time he takes one, and you will get along just fine. Don't offer to wash his back.

**Feeding**

The average Japanese diet consists of rice, fish, vegetables, and simple lean meats with plenty of salt for seasoning. He'll only accept rice from an Asian country, so make sure to get his approval first, or he won't eat it. (Unless he gets influenced by a happy-go-lucky Italian that will make him pasta-crazy) Try not to eat his cooking every day because of the sodium levels.

**Rest**

He sleeps in the early evening and wakes up with the sun to take a walk with his dog through the neighborhood. He's very consistent, and you might end up growing accustomed to his schedule, and he won't mind at all if you walk with him, KIKU HONDA will enjoy the company.

**Frequently Asked Questions**

Q: Why does the box have a sword to come with him?! Will be stab me?!

A: Not at all. KIKU HONDA is one of our more stable and polite units. Unless you somehow manage to unlock his _Black Japan_ mode, which we highly advise you not to do.

Q: He can't seem to get off of any of my gaming systems. My parents are getting angry, what do I do?

A: Fetch an IM YONG SOO and let him do all the hefty work for you, if one isn't available, have a LUDWIG KALTHERZIG unit drag him away against his will. Or politely tell him that he's being rather rude and he'll stop in a heartbeat.

**Troubleshooting**

Problem: Suddenly, my unit is openly reading and watching hentai around me and making a big show of eating pocky sticks by slurping them. He's okay with physical contact and drools when he watches any of my units lean over, touch his shoulders or arms, or see my younger sister in her cat Halloween costume. He makes small gasping sounds and listens to weird noises while watching tentacle stuff.

Solution: Congratulations! You've unlocked his hidden _Ecchi_ mode! He's as hormonal as a NEET or computer nerd recluse and has no shame in watching hentai or ecchi anime and manga in front of you or your parents. To switch him back, either do the hard thing and reinforce Japanese virtues into him in long lectures, or simply have a YONG SOO IM, HERACLES KARPUSI, and FRANCIS BONNEFOIS team up to traumatize the jelly out of him and slip him back to his normal state. Have both other Axis members, and MATTHEW WILLIAMS hang around him as he recovers.

Problem: It's four AM in the morning and my KIKU HONDA unit is gone!

Solution: Like the character, KIKU HONDA believes that he has high blood sugar from being such an old nation, but our units do not suffer from this human ailment at all, so he woke up early to take a restless walk around the neighborhood and will return promptly by breakfast.

Problem: My unit is asking me to get him a kimono or a yukata or something, what is that?

Solution: Look at our items online or subscribe to the monthly catalouge. You can purchase one from us that is specially tailored to fit your unit.

**End Notes**

With enough respect and caution, you'll have found a wonderful teacher and friend in KIKU HONDA!

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_**Hahahahaahhansnjkjflkdfmf l.x,djdnmv. soo very tired now... now i know how Japan feels with his back... gahh...**_


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